Elisha was sprawled across her bed. Naked and ravaged from the long adventure, she knew something was happening. She had finally reached her castle in the sky, even though she didn't know what was going to happen between them after this escapade.
It all started when she was at school, sitting in her English class, day dreaming of Winter Break. "I can finally get away from all of these people," she thought, "and I can hide myself away in my creations and ignore my father, including his ignorant scriptures." She heard the door open, but ignored the sound, burying her face in the sketchbook in front of her. The scratching of the lead flowing across the blank paper was music to her ears. Her art was her distraction from everyone and everything in the world.
A short and stocky girl stood next to the teacher, holding out a piece of paper. Ms. Debra Sox, the Senior English teacher, rolled her eyes and stared blankly at her. She said in an overly sarcastic voice, "So, Jocelyn, welcome to the class. Take a seat next to Elisha. She's the one with the pencil moving for no reason but to fail my class, which is what you're apparently going to do too, judging from your clothing." Jocelyn rolled her eyes and turned away.
Jocelyn's leather boots made loud, clunking sounds as she walked steadily down the aisle. Elisha was lost in her imagination. Jocelyn looked at her and said, "Psst, hey! Um, you're Elisha, right?" She moved her head away from the sketchbook, and saw her. Their eyes were locked and Elisha stumbled on her words. "Y-y-y-yes, Yes I am." she said. Jocelyn stared at her for a second, trying not to giggle. She eventually looked away from Elisha and paid attention to the lesson at hand, even though the teacher was completely brainless.
While she was staring at Jocelyn, the bell rang. Elisha scrambled to her feet and shoved her stuff into her doodled-on messenger bag. It was tattered but it was interesting to stare at. Jocelyn didn't bother taking out anything from her backpack, which was weather-warn with plaid patches all over it. Jocelyn cried out, "Hey! Wait up! I don't know where anything is!" She ran toward Elisha to catch up to the nervously fast paced stride she was presenting. Jocelyn nipped her jacket with her fingers and Elisha froze from the sudden touch of the new girl. Jocelyn ran right into her, both of them falling to the floor. The curly-haired girl sat on the floor, holding her nose and screaming, "Fuck me sideways!" Elisha clumsily got onto her feet and said, "Um, Um, Um, I'm sorry. Uh, let me help you." She held out her hand to Jocelyn. She grasped her hand tight and stood up. Elisha was frozen again. Jocelyn stood there, waving her hands in front of Elisha but she did nothing, just hanging her mouth open as if she had been hypnotized.
Jocelyn gave up hope as the other bell rang. She said out loud, "Okay, um, Elisha? Just meet me by the English class for lunch. I gotta get to my next class without getting lost." Elisha stood there with a blank expression on her face. Doors were shutting behind people as the hallway grew silent. She yelled out as Jocelyn disappeared up the steps, "I can help you!" Obviously it was too late for Jocelyn to run back down the steps. She stood there with complete embarrassment written on her face. She didn't care much about her clumsiness until now. "Shit," Elisha thought, "how can I be such an idiot right now? Nothing and no one has ever bothered me this much!"
She ran down the hall towards her art classroom, which was the only room with walls made of windows. Elisha loved her art class, and her art teacher. Miss Marie Christine had her doctorate in fine arts from Sarah Lawrence. Elisha admired her like an idol. She wanted to be like Miss Marie Christine when she got older, and just as beautiful. She opened the door and tried to close it slowly. Miss Marie Christine turned around and saw her student standing there, looking as if she was going to pass out. "Miss Christine. I..." Elisha said but Miss Marie Christine stopped her. "It's alright. Just get to your stool and get to work. We have to get these paintings done before Winter Break." Miss Christine said while smiling at her. Elisha smiled back and grabbed her supplies then headed for her stool by the corner window next to the stereo speakers.
As Elisha sat at her easel with her watercolor brush in hand, she could only think about Jocelyn and how stupid she was for freezing up like she did. As she continued her painting, she daydreamed about what had just happened. She heard the bell ring for lunch and she stood back, looking at the painting. All that was on the canvas was a heart with colors everywhere. Elisha shook her head and shoved everything into her messenger bag in a hurry. She threw the bag over her shoulder and ran out the door, leaving her painting out in the open.
She got to her locker and tried to open it while looking around as if she killed someone. Elisha got it open and pulled out the sack lunch she made. She hated the school lunch and the people in the lines. "Primates, simple primates," she said under her breath. "Simple, eh?" a voice had said. Elisha turned her head and jumped back a step while she held her chest and said, "yeah, simple. That's all the idiots here." It was just her friend Jordan. He looked at her and leaned his head to the right. Jordan knew something was up.
"You look kinda tense, sweetie. What's wrong?" he asked. Jordan was the only gay guy at school, at least the only out one. They had been friends since first grade. He was tall, but well built because he was on the football team. He had blonde hair and blue eyes but was pretty pale with freckles. "There is this new girl at school and she makes me nervous! I don't know what to do!" she said in a squeaky voice. She jumped and looked over his shoulder and looked to her sides. "The coast is clear!" she proclaimed.
Jordan leaned against the lockers and nudged her. "Maybe you like her, Lees!" he exclaimed. She put her hand over his mouth while leaning back onto the lockers in a panic. Elisha jumped up and stood in front of him, holding a finger to her mouth to shut him up. "No I DON'T! I only like guys, Dan the Man!" she said in an angry tone. "Suuure you don't!" he said as he nudged her off of him, "You're just afraid that your father will find out. I think he's a pri..." Elisha forcefully held her hand onto his mouth and said, "Shit, here she comes!"
Jocelyn lifted her right brow in confusion from the way Elisha was standing. "She's a weird one," Jocelyn thought, "but she's damn cute. Her cuteness makes up for her insanity." She stood next to Elisha and said to her, "You ready to get some lunch? I'm freakin' starved!" Jordan nudged Elisha and smiled as if he didn't do anything. Elisha looked at Jocelyn while holding up her brown lunch bag and said, "Yeah, but I..." Jordan grabbed the girl's lunch and tossed it behind them by a couple of feet. "She'd love to join you. I am going to go check out the guys' bathroom for a glory hole. I love uncovering closet cases!" Jordan said as he ran off. He kicked Elisha with his foot. She fell into Jocelyn and let out a yelp. Elisha looked up and nearly screamed. She jumped up and looked at Jocelyn as if she had vomited on her shirt. Jocelyn giggled then nudged her towards the door and said, "Let's get some food." As they were walking, Elisha picked up her lunch bag and held it close to her.
They were in the lunch line and standing next to each other. Elisha glared at everyone and held her lunch bag closer to her, nearly bursting her juice box. Jocelyn looked at her with a grin and shook her head. Elisha leaned in on her and whispered, "All of these people are disgusting. How can you stand in this line?" Jocelyn giggled and said, "It's just food. Everyone has to eat, Elisha. No one really cares who's what and what's who. For me, I'm dying to try these chili cheese fries this guy was bragging about." Elisha shuddered and held her lunch bag closer.
Jocelyn grabbed the bag from her and put it in her messenger bag for her. "Eat some chili cheese fries with me. How bad can it be?" she said to her nervous friend. Elisha stood there and said to her, "Do you even know what's in those chili cheese fries?" Jocelyn rolled her eyes and said, "Yes, I do. Preservatives, Trans fat, cholesterol, and sodium, plus a ton of meat byproducts. I don't really give a shit. If it tastes good, it's going in this shit factory!"
Elisha giggled and held her messenger bag in front of her, letting out a smirk. "Oh ho, someone is cracking their 'I'm a nervous wreck' shell here! You're too adorable." Jocelyn said to poke fun at her new pal. Elisha moved the bag and punched Jocelyn playfully in the arm while saying, "Shut it! I'm a tough brut!" Jocelyn giggled and proceeded to the front of the line. Elisha couldn't stop staring at her. "Dan can't be right about this. She's beautiful, yes, but I'm not gay. Am I gay?"
She let out a sigh and rolled her eyes as Jocelyn sniffed the fries. "Oh what a heaven sent treasure! These smell fantastic!" she said while walking out to the cafeteria tables. She grabbed fifty cents out of her pocket. She placed the fries onto the table next to Elisha. Jocelyn walked over to the soda machines because she felt like having something other than the tiny cartons of milk the place served. Elisha looked at the fries with much disgust and shoved them away gently with the fork Jocelyn was going to use for the fries. She looked around and pulled her lunch out of her messenger bag and placed it on the table. It was a usual turkey sandwich with mayonnaise, pretzel sticks, and a box of apple juice. She sighed with relief as she opened the sandwich bag, knowing that no one was going to startle her.
She opened her mouth to take a bite out of her sandwich, but all of a sudden, Jordan ran up to her and placed his hand on her shoulders, letting out moans. She jumped and her sandwich slammed into her face. Elisha turned red and started to punch Jordan in the arm. She yelled, "You asshole! Why did you do that?" He busted out laughing and said, "Stop, stop! I was only kidding!" She moved away from him and took a bite out of her sandwich. Jocelyn looked at Elisha and then glanced at Jordan. "What happened here?" Elisha swallowed the chewed up food and said to her, "He scared me and my sandwich went flying into my face." Jocelyn giggled and rolled her eyes.
She cracked open a fresh cola and took a sip. Jordan smiled at the ceiling while Jocelyn dug her fork into the pile of greasy goodness. Jocelyn looked at him and said, "Did you ever find those glory holes you were looking for?" Jordan started laughing and grinned at her while he said, "Sure did. I caught another closet case! Man I love my life." Jocelyn replied, "Do they have glory holes for the girls? I mean, aren't they like boob holes? That would be pretty awesome!" Jordan looked at her and smiled, "You're gay too?" Jocelyn rolled up her sleeve and showed him the tattoo she got illegally. It was the typical lesbian symbol in a pink triangle.
Jordan smiled and kicked Elisha with his foot. She went slamming into her sandwich again. She held a fist out to Jordan and then she turned to look at Jocelyn. She smiled at her and pulled her fist away. "Lees is gay too. Did you know that?" Jocelyn looked up from her fries and stared at Jordan saying, "She is?" Elisha turned bright red while she looked at Jordan and said, "I am? Since when did I become gay?" Jordan snickered and Elisha punched Jordan in the arm as hard as she could. "I'm not gay!" she said really loud. She turned to Jocelyn and said, "I'm not gay!" Jocelyn said to her calmly with a mouthful of chili fries, "I didn't say you were. Jordan did."
Elisha picked up her bag and ran out of the cafeteria towards the door that led to the outside part of the school. She stood there, wanting to burst into tears. She kept telling herself over and over in her head, "I'm not gay. I'm not gay! I'm not gay!" She stood there and realized to herself, replaying all the shit that had gone on in one day. "Holy fucking shit! I am gay!" She said, running towards her beat up Volvo and sat in her car. Elisha placed her hands on the steering wheel and started to pound her head repeatedly on it. What could she do after this realization? Elisha sat in her car and cried for the rest of the lunch period. She really couldn't do anything but accept that she was a lesbian.
Elisha's next class was Gym. She hated that class, and most of all, the teacher. Mr. Michael Richardson was the physical education teacher she had her sophomore year, but she failed that year because she ditched to go to the art room and draw. Elisha felt like starting her car and driving off into oblivion. No one would know she was missing besides her father, Jordan, and Jocelyn. Why did Jocelyn matter so much? She had only known her for a couple of hours. That kind of connection didn't matter much, did it?
She got out of her car and ran to the locker room. She didn't want to let a soul know she knew she was gay. Elisha opened the door to find Jocelyn standing right in front of the door. She stopped for a second but then barged through her, heading towards her locker. Jocelyn ran after her in the uniformed mesh purple shorts everyone else was wearing. She placed her hand on Elisha's shoulder and said, "Why did you
" Elisha held up her hand to the girl's face and said, "I'm not gay. Why would anyone think I'm gay? I'm just a straight girl who happens to think another girl is pretty. That's it! I
" Jocelyn turned Elisha around, stared into her eyes and said to her, "I wasn't the one who said those things. Most of it was you freaking out. Jordan was actually snickering and joking with you. Why are you being such a homophobe anyway? I
" She paused, blushed, and said "You think I'm pretty?" Elisha shook her head and smirked at her. Jocelyn looked at her and said, "No one's ever called me pretty. Usually I get handsome or something along the lines of being a dyke. Thanks." They stood there in front of Elisha's locker staring at each other for a few seconds. Jocelyn leaned in to kiss her but she backed off and started unlocking her locker, in a nervous fashion. Jocelyn rolled her eyes and said, "I'll see you outside, beautiful." Elisha blushed and kept turning her locker dial but not really opening her locker. After she heard the door slam, she started banging her head on the locker, wanting to burst into tears. "What will my father think of me? I don't want him to disown me or send me off to some all-Christian boarding school! That would be a nightmare!" She finally opened her locker and changed fast. She glanced at the clock and realized that she was a minute late to her class. After changing, she shoved everything into her gym locker and ran out the door.
As she was running to her classmates, she realized there was a substitute teacher and jumped with relief. It didn't matter if she was late or not if there was a substitute. They didn't keep tabs on attendance. It basically meant that there was a free day. She saw Jocelyn in the class, kind of off to the side, and standing by the bleachers. Everyone disbursed into their cliques. Elisha ran over to Jocelyn and poked her. "Um, I'm really sorry for earlier. I
" she started to say but Jocelyn placed her index finger on Elisha's lips, stopping her from talking. "It's alright," she said, "Let's go for a walk. I'll tell ya about myself." Elisha shyly looked at her and smiled. Jocelyn started rambling about her life and how she came to realized she was a lesbian.
"I was 14, a freshman in high school, and I had met this girl at my old school named Andi. She was a couple inches taller than me but she had long natural red hair and freckles. Her pale skin was like the color of Jordan's skin. She was stunning all the way around. I followed her all over campus for a while, but I didn't know why." Jocelyn went on about her first lesbian love, "She captivated me and I barely knew her. One day, my friend Jaime realized what I was doing and she pushed me into her. We both fell into the ground and I helped her pick up her books. As I was reaching for a book, she placed her hand on mine and smiled. From then on, we were inseparable. I was crazy about her and she was crazy about me. We had gone out for a year and a half until my incident happened."
"What was that incident?" Elisha said to Jocelyn in a push to finish her story. By this time, they were in the locker room, changing. "One day, she came up to me and she started to kiss me. She shoved me away and gave an 'Ew you're gross' kind of facial expression at me when she saw her old crush, Christopher Barney. He was the Quarterback on our football team. Andi was a closet when it came to boys. She was a lesbian behind that heterosexual exterior. She did it a lot and I got so sick of it and I went ballistic. I threw my backpack into the wall and tossed my lunch in her face. I had ruptured into tears and repetitively called her a whore, a slut, and a bitch. She chased after me and she tried to calm me down by kissing me but it didn't help. I turned my head away and shoved her. I started punching her and I flung her into the lockers. I got expelled for beating up a girl, even though I'm obviously a female. I went to a few different schools after that and slept around with other girls. No one could fix me, though."
Elisha sipped on her water bottle and stared at Jocelyn. "That's really intense," she said, "I feel horrible now. I'm sorry." Jocelyn placed a hand on her face and said, "Don't worry about it. It means nothing now." "Maybe I can fix you," Elisha thought to herself, "I bet I could make you feel whole again." Jocelyn grabbed a soda from her backpack and chugged it, crushing the can in her hand. Elisha stared at her, not really drinking her water but just placing her lips on the edge of the bottle's mouth.
Jocelyn smirked and said, "Hey, want to hang out later? It is a Friday. What else do you have to do?" Elisha's heart jumped and she shook her head, "I don't have your number and you don't have mine. How can we make plans if we
" Jocelyn placed another finger on Elisha's lips and said, "Shut up. I will give you my number." She wrote it real fast on Elisha's bag. "That's my cell. Call me anytime you want." Jocelyn said to her. Elisha blushed and smiled big at her. "Alright, I will." Jocelyn winked at her as she walked out the door backwards. Elisha started jumping around as her heart fluttered. She had never felt like this before, something new was happening and Elisha knew everything was going to be all right for once. "Maybe, just maybe," she thought, "being gay won't be as bad as I was told it would be."
Elisha ran to her math class, knowing she was going to be late. Her calculus teacher, Mr. McCleeve, was a serious douche bag when it came to his students being late. Thankfully, Elisha made it to class on time with a few seconds to spare. She sat in her seat and proceeded to copy down notes. She started to scribble on her notebook and thought to herself, "What should I say to her without sounding like an idiot? I don't want her to think that I'm some chicken. I'll just say hi to her. That's it, nothing more or less!" The bell rang for her school to end. She looked at her paper and realized that the doodle she made was Jocelyn's name written over and over in a design of Jocelyn's name in cursive. Her eyes widened and shoved the notebook into her messenger bag. As she closed it, she rubbed her hand softly across Jocelyn's number, hoping it would some how connect her to Jocelyn.
Elisha headed out the door and pulled her keys out of her pocket. She sighed with relief as she got to her car. She shoved the key into the door lock and saw a reflection in the door of Jordan walking over with flowers. She smiled and turned around to look at him. "I'm sorry I was such a jerk. I got you
" he said to her, but Elisha stopped him by placing a finger over her mouth. "You shouldn't apologize. I'm the idiot. Look, I accepted myself, and I've got Jocelyn's number. Look!" She held up the bag in front of her face. Jordan clapped with glee and lifted up one of his legs. "Yay, I have my very own lesbian friend! Oh my god! Oh my god!" he said as he was panicking with joy. Elisha motioned him to get into her passenger seat and opened her car.
"I bet she's going to fuck you!" Jordan said nonchalantly to Elisha. She punched him while she was driving and said, "No! No she won't! She doesn't like me like that. We barely know each other!" Jocelyn was beautiful but Elisha didn't think that she had the looks to get Jocelyn to like her. She thought back to the time in the locker room when Jocelyn tried to kiss her. She woke up out of her daydream and all most hit the car in front of them. She slammed on her breaks and let out a loud sigh. Jordan looked at her and said, "Awww, Lees has a massive crush on Jocelyn!" She looked at him and said, "So what? At least I'm not trying to un-closet the rest of the school!" She winked at him and smiled. Jordan busted up laughing and turned on the radio.
They reached her one story house that looked very small and old, but fit her and her father. Jordan lived down the block in a massive house. Jordan looked up and saw the dark clouds of the usual storm that would roll out this time of year. He pointed up and Elisha looked up, noticing the clouds too. She loved the rain because then she could curl up with her sketch book, stereo, and art supplies in her bed and create wonderful pieces. She waved by to Jordan and told him to call her later.
Elisha took out her headphones and put them in her ears. She enjoyed her 90's hits. Her favorite band was Sixpence None the Richer. As she walked up the stone path to her front door, she enjoyed the greenery her father planted before her mother had passed away. He decided to be a gardener during that time period instead of being a preacher. Elisha pulled her hood over her head and held her messenger bag close to her. She was starting to accept her crush on the new girl at school. It made sense to her that she would. She couldn't believe how much of a chicken she was when Jocelyn tried to kiss her. Why didn't she give into it? She would see if she would chicken out tonight!
Elisha got to her front door and shoved the key into the lock and turned the knob. She walked in and through the living room to the dining room. The house was decorated with plants and Elisha's artwork. Her artwork ranged from sculptures to paintings that were seven feet tall. "I'm home, pop!" she yelled out. Father Thomas Pewter was a strict Christian preacher at the local Church. Even though he was a preacher, he did appreciate his daughter's artwork and bohemian life style. On his days off, he would work in the yards and plant new greenery. Today was different though. Father Thomas was praying in his room.
"Pop?" Elisha said, "Are you all right? You're not out in the yards and
" He jumped up and ran to her, hugging her tight. "I was taking a nap after I was doing some work in the yard. I dreamt that you had died in a fiery car crash and that you went to hell!" he said as he was petting her hair, "I'm so glad you're safe now!" Elisha rolled her eyes at her father's erratic behavior. "It's okay, pop. I'm going to give this new girl at school a call," she said to him, while smiling, "she may need help with some English work." Her father smiled and nudged her off to her room.
Elisha placed the headphones into her ears and danced around the house, grabbing the phone on the way to her room. She got into her room and locked the door. She looked out her window and saw her father working on the yard some more. She quickly grabbed her bag and dialed the number as fast as she could. As it rang, she played with the curtain on her window. It was died all types of colors by her mother when she was a baby. Her mother was a flower child and loved nature, art, and colors.
"Hello?" said a voice over the phone. Elisha's heart skipped a beat as she recognized the voice. "Uh, um, it's
" Elisha began but was interrupted by Jocelyn's voice, "Elisha? Hey beautiful, I thought you weren't going to call!" Elisha giggled and said, "Of course I would. Um, so what exactly did you want to do? Do you know where Evergreen Park is?" Jocelyn giggled and said, "Of course I do. My grandma lives in this area so I know it pretty well. I am staying with her actually. I can meet you at your house if you want. We can walk together. What street do you live off of?" Elisha smiled gigantically and said, "13448 North Elkwood Place." Jocelyn said in a very ecstatic voice, "No way! I live on the street after that; Redwood Street! How crazy is that!" She busted into laughter as Elisha giggled. "Well, I'll see you in a few minutes then!" Elisha said to Jocelyn. "Alright, cutie, see ya!" Jocelyn said.
Elisha paced around her room, getting anxious about the event about to take place. She stomped one of her feet on the ground and stood straight up. "I won't chicken out! I just won't! I am going to get my first kiss today. I'm not going to fuck myself over by being stupid!" She heard her door bell ring. She bolted out her bedroom and ran toward the front door, excited to see Jocelyn. Elisha put her headphones on and walked out the door, waving at her father letting him know she was leaving.
As they were walking, she listened to a mix CD that Jordan had made for her to listen to on rainy days. She loved the rain but not as much as he did. The rain was starting to pour down. Jocelyn grabbed Elisha's left hand and started to run off while Elisha was lagging behind her. As Jocelyn ran in front of her, Elisha's denim jeans started to get soaked with water. Elisha stepped in every small puddle she could even though she was only wearing her black Chucks.
Jocelyn found a covered area and ran over to it. Elisha stood in the rain, staring at her from afar. She knew what her feelings were, but didn't know if it was appropriate to act on them just yet. She ran toward Jocelyn. When she reached the covered area at the park, she started to put her headphones away. Jocelyn grabbed them and put them on her own head. She blushed at Jocelyn and closed up her bag.
"It's kind of funny." Jocelyn said while dancing around. Elisha turned to her and gave her a puzzled glance. "What's kind of funny?" she asked. Jocelyn explained, "It's kind of funny that someone who is as big of a closet as you are has Melissa Etheridge on her mix CD." Elisha rolled her eyes and stared at her. Jocelyn looked around, feeling nostalgic. "My grandma used to take me here as a kid when I would come and visit." She told her. Elisha looked at her and said, "I was meaning to ask you why you aren't living with your parents."
Jocelyn looked at her turned off the CD player, and said, "I don't live with them because they didn't accept me. My dad was the Mayor of my old town called Eureka, and my mom was whipped beyond belief by him, plus she was super conservative. She was the one who told my dad to ban Homosexual Marriage in my old town. My grandma had a gay sister who passed away recently, so she learned to accept people for who they are."
"My dad's a preacher. He hates Jordan with a passion and tries to convert him into heterosexuality. I sometimes wish I didn't have such a Jesus freak for a father." Elisha said while putting the CD player into her messenger bag. "I know exactly what you mean!" Jocelyn said to her. She placed her hand onto Elisha's face and stroked her cheek with her thumb. "God you're beautiful." Jocelyn said aloud to Elisha. She looked at her and leaned in to kiss her. Elisha looked away and bit her lip. "I can't do this," she said, "I just can't!" She leaned her back against the wall and held her face in her hands, nearly bursting into tears. Jocelyn pulled her hands away and held them within hers. She lifted Elisha's head with her left hand while Elisha's right hand was entwined within her own.
"Why not, are you scared of your father finding out or are you too scared of actually opening yourself up to something real?" Jocelyn said nearly crying herself. "It's not that simple, Joss. It's seriously not that simple." She said, shoving Jocelyn away. "Why isn't it simple, Elisha? Why?" Jocelyn said and then paused for a moment, looking at Elisha with anger written on her expression, "You know what? Fuck it. I'm done trying! I'm not exactly that new to the school, I've just been avoiding going to that school because I knew you would be there. I used to see you all the time when I'd visit my grandma. You'd be walking around the blocks, going to the park or to Kevin's Grocery on the corner of Fern Street and Main Avenue! I would see you everywhere I was. What I'm trying to say is that I've had a 7 year crush on you!"
Elisha stood there in astonishment and realized what had just happened. Jocelyn had just confessed her feelings to Elisha! "Oh my god
" Elisha started but Jocelyn interrupted her, exploding into a tangent, "I don't really need another apology from you. You're like all of the closet cases out there. You only think about yourself and what will happen to you! Well, here's a fucking news flash: It's not just about you selfish fucks! Do me a favor and start giving a shit about other people's feelings. Oh wait! You people are too fucking closeted to actually express any compassion other than for yourselves. Fuck you." She started to bawl as Elisha reached for her but she nudged her hand away and started running off. Elisha stood there, frozen in the rain. She didn't know whether to run after her or stand there and cry. "Wait!" she cried out, "I like you too!" It was too late, though. Jocelyn was already fifty feet away from her. Elisha collapsed onto the floor and curled into a ball, crying by herself in the rain.
The weekend went by after that incident. It was still storming and it wasn't going to stop raining for a few more days. That Monday, Elisha showed up for English and Jocelyn was sitting in the seat next to her. Jocelyn didn't even notice she was there at all. Elisha poked and prodded her with the pencil she was drawing with, but Jocelyn didn't budge what-so-ever. Elisha sat there, wanting to burst into tears. She drew in her sketch book the rest of the class period but only drew Jocelyn's name over and over.
After a painful fifty-two minutes, the bell finally rang. Elisha shoved all of her stuff into her messenger bag. She walked really fast out the door and started to shed a few tears. She got to her locker and started to punch the door. Jordan saw her from down the hall and ran over to her. He placed his hand on her shoulder. She turned around, looked up at him, wrapped her arms around him and proceeded to cry. He lifted her off for a second and said, "What the hell happened! Oh my god, did you tell your dad?" She kept crying and the bell rang. She let go and shut her locker, without really putting anything in it. She looked up at Jordan and said, "Meet me here for lunch, like usual?" He nodded and they went separate ways.
Jordan was pretty scared about what Elisha was going to say to him. Elisha was pretty devastated about the days that had past. She knew that Jordan would cheer her up some how. She got into her art class and sat on her stool, grabbing another canvas to paint on. She looked at the teacher and smirked, but it quickly turned into a frown. The teacher gave her a concerned look and walked over to her. "What's wrong, Lees? Did something happen?" Miss Marie Christine said. Elisha just shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. "Well," Miss Marie Christine said, "If you need someone to talk to, you know where I'll be." She walked off to help the other students with their projects. Elisha sat there and stared at her painting, hoping that the canvas would magically turn into Jocelyn and she would take her into her arms; maybe then everything would be okay.
Every brush stroke Elisha made didn't help her misery. The only colors she had used were blue and black. By the time the bell rang, she was done with her depressed masterpiece. She stepped back and it turned out to be a picture of them two, holding each other. The picture of Jocelyn was in black, showing her dark emotion; and the picture of Elisha was in blue, expressing that she felt invisible to Jocelyn. She started to cry, but sucked it up and walked out the door to her locker. She felt a hand touch her shoulder but ignored it. Miss Marie Christine was worried about her and didn't know exactly what to do, so she grabbed Jordan as he walked passed the class room and dragged him in.
"Heya Miss Marie Christine, what's up?" Jordan asked nervously, still trying to wiggle out of the teacher's grip. "What's wrong with Lees? She seems particularly upset today. I mean, look at her painting!" Miss Marie Christine had said while pointing to the stool Elisha sat in. "Um, 'kay." Jordan thought as he walked toward the painting area. He stood there and stared at it. He slapped his left hand on his face while the other hand was on his hip. "Shit," he said out loud, "She's got a crush on a girl at the school, and from what I see; the girl doesn't exactly like her." "Oh my god, she's a lesbian? I knew it! Debra owes me twenty bucks!" Miss Marie Christine said while thrusting her elbow backward. "You guys bet on her sexuality? She was right, you people are evil!" Jordan said while walking out the door.
He ran over to Elisha, who had her face in her knees. He sat down next to her with his knees to his chest. "All right, you have to tell me what's going on right now! What happened, sweetie?" he said as he rubbed her back. "Jocelyn had a crush on me for 7 years. She lives on the street right after mine with her grandma. Plus she thinks I'm like all of the other closet cases." Elisha said in a teary voice, wiping her face with her long thermal sleeve. "Wait, how did she come up with that conclusion?" Jordan asked, petting her hair and forcing Elisha to lean on his shoulder. "She tried to kiss me and I turned away. I didn't know what to do. I mean, that would have been my first kiss, ever. You know that!" Elisha said as she gripped his shirt, all most going hysterical.
Jordan's mouth dropped and he placed his hands on her shoulders. "Why the HELL didn't you just go for it!" he said as he shook her, "Go get her, you nincompoop! Go save your chance at a real lover! Don't wait around!" He started to shove her off but she stopped and looked at him. "It's not that easy, Dan. She thinks I'm a complete asshole. What should I do?" she said holding her hands out to him as if he were a relationship guru. He stood up and took her hands into his. "I'll handle everything. You go eat your health conscious food. I'll convince her otherwise." Jordan said as he walked off. She opened her locker and peaked through the holes to watch Jordan talk to Jocelyn.
Jordan ran over to Jocelyn and said, "Hey wait up! I want some of those damned chili fries!" Jocelyn stopped in her tracks and raised an eyebrow at him. Jocelyn looked around him to see if Elisha was peaking at them. Elisha was already digging in her locker by the time Jocelyn looked at her. They walked into the cafeteria lunch line and stood behind a huge line of people.
"So what's up; anything new between Lees and you?" Jordan said as he nudged her. "Well, I kind of fucked up. I accused her of being some selfish whore who doesn't care about other's feelings when I know she does." Jocelyn said as she held herself, looking away. "Jordan put his hand on her shoulder. "I know how to get her back." he said. Jocelyn looked up at him and said, "Really? I mean, how?" He nodded and looked back at her saying, "Just surprise her somehow. She likes you so she won't say no." They reached the front of the line and got their chili fries.
After school ended, Elisha ran out of the school and met Jordan at her car. He was already waiting for her, though. They hopped in and drove off. Jocelyn stared at them as they drove off. She giggled to herself, knowing exactly what she was going to do. She was going to mend things between Elisha and her, making everything okay again.
"I don't know why I chickened out, Dan. I have no idea why." Elisha said, putting on her left turn signal. "I don't know either. You're such a chicken sometimes." Jordan exclaimed as he was tearing open a bag of Cheese Poofs. Elisha bit her bottom lip and concentrated on the traffic. She turned to Jordan when she reached a red light and said, "Did I really screw up? Do you think she hates me now?" "She didn't tell me anything, but I know for a fact that she doesn't hate you. She's just upset. Give her some time to cool off, okay?" Jordan said while stuffing Poofs into his mouth. "You're right, Dan. I'll give her some time to cool off," she said, "I'll give her one last call tonight. I just want to let her know how I feel; nothing more and nothing less." "That might not be a good idea, Lees. Just let her deal with herself, k? Don't try and be Miss Romantic." Jordan said while putting his chips into his backpack. Elisha nodded to him and smiled.
She pulled the key out of the ignition and grabbed the door handle to get open the car door; Jordan did the same. She got out of her car and Jordan gave her a hug. They winked at each other as they both went their separate ways. Elisha waved at her father as he was watering all the plants. She stood at the door and turned the knob. As she walked in, she thought to herself, "Maybe Jordan's right. This will all blow over and it will all be okay again."
She changed out of her wet clothes and put on some pajamas, which were flannel pants and a wife-beater. Elisha grabbed her paint spattered apron and put it on. Instead of sitting in silence, she put on her 90's mix. She sat at her easel and picked up her paint brush that was sitting off to the side on a cabinet. As she dipped her paintbrush into one of the color swirls that sat neatly on her palette, she thought about Jocelyn and how horrible she must feel that she didn't kiss her.
Elisha was deep into her new piece for about four hours when she heard a knock at her window. She sat at her easel and ignored the knock. It was usually Jordan wanting to know if he could come in. She was finally getting her mind off of Jocelyn while she was hard at work. The person kept knocking. She put down her palette and got up in frustration. She opened her tie-dyed curtains hard, nearly knocking down the curtain rod, and then she saw her.
Jocelyn was standing outside in the pouring rain, waving at Elisha. She stood there waiting for her to open the window instead of standing there like a deer in headlights. Elisha looked at her and stared in amazement. She opened the window and pulled out the screen. Jocelyn put her hands on the inside of the window and propping her feet up on the edge. She pulled herself in and hopped into her room. Her boots slammed against the floor, but not loud enough to wake up father. Elisha stood there in amazement and said, "I
" Jocelyn grabbed her by the back of her neck and pulled Elisha's head into hers, kissing her hard and passionately. She struggled as Jocelyn held onto her, but it was no use. Elisha gave into her desires and wrapped her arms around her. She opened up her mouth and Jocelyn's tongue darted into her mouth, massaging their tongues together.
Jocelyn broke off the kiss with her and ripped off her jacket. Elisha wrapped her arms around her neck and stared into her eyes. Jocelyn wrapped her arms around Elisha's waist and untied the apron and pulled it off of her, tossing it onto of her jacket. Jocelyn started to kiss her neck and moved her hands to Elisha's stomach, pulling up her shirt, revealing her breasts. She lifted it off of her and threw it to the pile she had started. Jocelyn looked at her and said, "I'm crazy about you." Elisha looked at her and blushed, staring into her brown eyes. Jocelyn stared back into Elisha's. They started to mend together. She was topless, but Jocelyn was still fully clothed.
Jocelyn pushed her down onto the bed, kissing from her chin, past her chest and to her stomach, licking around her belly button. Elisha was lost in the sheer ecstasy she was feeling. Jocelyn was actually touching her and feeling her. "I'm crazy about you too." Elisha said. Elisha arched her back as she felt her hand slide down the flannel pants. Nothing was better than what was happened to her at that moment, nor could anything ruin it.